What Business Owners Get Wrong About Sexual Harassment

No one wanted to address it because it was uncomfortable, awkward and messy.

Early in my legal career, a senior partner at the firm where I worked began harassing me. He insisted on long hugs that lingered. He told me he loved me. He commented on my body and my clothing. He was emotionally volatile and, at times, controlling. On one occasion, he screamed that I was “either dumb or trying to steal his client.” When I became upset, he used that moment as an excuse to “comfort” me.

I had worked hard to build my career. I liked coming in early and sometimes stopped by on weekends to get ahead. Over time, I found myself calculating how to avoid being alone in the office with him. I started adjusting my schedule around his presence.

What made it worse was the avoidance by others. Some partners appeared to know what was happening, but they spoke in code. One told me, “You should do work for me because I only want you for your brain.” A woman partner I respected once said that women who speak up about sexual harassment do it for attention. The message was clear: This was inconvenient. It would be easier if I managed it quietly.

I eventually left. The experience haunted me. I felt guilty for not making a bigger deal about this to protect future victims, but the shame and fear silenced me.

Workplace safety requires open conversations beyond HR

Business owners often believe that if they have a policy in place and conduct annual training through human resources, they are addressing sexual harassment in the workplace. But compliance is not the same as workplace safety.

Now, I have a firm that supports victims of workplace sexual harassment. I see how harassment festers and escalates. It rarely starts with something egregious. It starts with a comment about someone’s appearance. A sexual joke. A hand on a lower back. A private text after work hours. Each incident is small enough that a manager can rationalize it as harmless.

The reality is, when leaders soften language to avoid discomfort or ignore sexual jokes, they create legal blind spots. If behavior is described as “harmless flirting” rather than a boundary violation, the company has already signaled how seriously it will take the issue. Employees hear that message. So do harassers.

Serial harassers rely on that ambiguity. They test boundaries. If there are no or only minor consequences, they push further and often get better at covering it up. By the time multiple employees are affected, the financial and reputational exposure is far greater than if the first incident had been addressed clearly.

Leadership sets the tone, not HR

Human resources plays an important role, but it cannot carry the cultural weight of an organization alone. Employees take their cues from owners and executives. If leadership avoids direct conversations about workplace safety, the entire company follows suit. Sexual harassment is a topic that owners and leadership should feel comfortable talking about regularly.

One concrete thing owners can do is, when they see something, say something in the moment. For example, when an employee comments on another employee’s body, state in no uncertain terms that that is not appropriate and violates sexual harassment policy. When someone makes a sexual joke, shut it down right away and call it out for what it is. If you see an employee in a compromised state, such as with another employee’s hand on her back or waist, make up an excuse for her to join you in another room. Tell her that person should not have engaged in such behavior, and it is not okay. Ask her how you can support her. Of course, address the other person separately promptly as well.

Being prepared to address sexual harassment head-on takes planning and preparation. Ask yourself and your leadership team what happens when an employee reports inappropriate behavior by a high performer. If the response is to protect revenue first and address conduct second, that decision will ripple outward.

The individuals who most frequently become targets are not weak or disengaged. They are often high achievers with strong ethics and performance. They are assets. When they leave because leadership failed to act, the loss is not only moral. It is operational.

Early clarity prevents costly outcomes and mass exodus

I was reminded recently how deeply some leaders want to avoid direct conversations about harassment. Hearing that many of my clients face harassment on business trips, I entered into a contract with a public airport to display an advertisement that read, “When they called it harmless flirting, we called it Exhibit A.” The airport refused to run it, saying it could be offensive to men and that the topic was too sensitive. It took over six months, a federal lawsuit and a judge stating that the airport violated my First Amendment rights for me to get the airport to agree to put my advertisement up.

That case involved public speech, but the lesson applies to private companies. If the mere mention of harassment feels too inflammatory, it is a sign that the organization has prioritized comfort over safety.

As a business owner, you cannot afford that approach. Addressing inappropriate behavior early is not about creating conflict; it is about preventing it. Clear expectations, documented responses and consistent enforcement reduce the likelihood of escalation. They also demonstrate to employees that leadership is serious about safety and fairness.

Silence may feel easier in the short term. It avoids difficult conversations and protects powerful personalities. However, it also increases the likelihood of formal complaints, litigation and public scrutiny later.

No one wanted to address it because it was uncomfortable, awkward and messy.

Early in my legal career, a senior partner at the firm where I worked began harassing me. He insisted on long hugs that lingered. He told me he loved me. He commented on my body and my clothing. He was emotionally volatile and, at times, controlling. On one occasion, he screamed that I was “either dumb or trying to steal his client.” When I became upset, he used that moment as an excuse to “comfort” me.

I had worked hard to build my career. I liked coming in early and sometimes stopped by on weekends to get ahead. Over time, I found myself calculating how to avoid being alone in the office with him. I started adjusting my schedule around his presence.